Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
