last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
is wine microwaveable?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
