loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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