I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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