Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
