I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
