As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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