when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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