people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
