I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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