Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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