a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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