You really coming over, don't trick.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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