Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
