he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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