He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
