a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
