my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
