This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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