ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
