is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
