i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
