Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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