and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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