Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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