She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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