We're like a lot better than the average bears
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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