The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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