My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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