My nipple is on Facebook.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
