I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
