I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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