Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
