my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
