id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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