so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
