What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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