i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
