im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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