This is not my ceiling
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
