I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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