idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
