thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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