when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
