conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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