This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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