I hate all girls vehemently.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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