i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
