I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
