no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
