I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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