she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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