guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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