I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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