dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
last night I used snow as a chaser
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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