i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
