and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
