There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
