theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
