is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
