Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I supernannyed him into submission
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
