If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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