Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
