dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
