we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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