hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
