I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize