if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
