Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
