I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize