You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize