She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
