if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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