I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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