Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
