I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
this is an emotional support booty call
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
there is glitter all over my balls
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
