I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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