she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize