Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
