well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
