Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
