boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize