It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
