How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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